Everything's alright
by Click96
Summary: A month after Camlann, Gwen knows something's wrong. She even has an idea of what it is that's been bothering her lately. She doesn't want to confirm her suspicions, but at the same time, she needs to know. Set post S5. Spoilers for 5x13. I know the summary's short but please read and review.


**Set post S5. Not long after S5 either. Please read and review.**

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A month after Arthur died, Gwen knew something was wrong.

Ever since those early days Gwen had thought she'd been improving. She'd come a long way from when she'd been unable to look Merlin in the eyes _(because although you know it's not his fault you can't help but think ifonlyheddonesomething)_ after he brought back the news of Arthur's end, even though all he'd had to do was look into her eyes before she knew and so it was more confirmation than anything else, she couldn't help it. She thought those early days of torture were now long behind her.

She'd been feeling emotional lately. Randomly feeling the need to burst into tears and feeling exhausted all the time. She put it down to starting to realise that Arthur was truly gone now- that she'd never see him smile or watch his eyes light up at the prospect of abandoning the paperwork or hear his ridiculous accent as he teased Merlin for the millionth time. It was nothing to worry about, and she brushed it off –whatever her emotional state, she still had a kingdom to run.

Then she started experiencing aches and pains in her stomach and lower back. An idea started to form, stirring in the back of her mind, but she refused to acknowledge it and any possible outcomes. She wouldn't let herself.

Then, a month after Camlann, she was two weeks late and the issue couldn't be put off any longer. She went to Gaius.

"I'm sorry, my lady. You're pregnant."

Those words confirmed something Gwen had both hoped and dreaded. Her mind was in turmoil, conflicting emotions over the life she knew was growing inside her distracting her every minute of the day.

A constant reminder of the man she loved. A constant reminder of the man she lost.

After four months it was no longer concealable, and so she made the announcement to the council.

"I am carrying Arthur's child."

Of course, there were congratulations._ 'Congratulations my lady. Arthur's line shall continue, even in his absence.' _Were the council really that insensitive? Did they think of politics, the throne, and nothing more?

And condolences. _'I'm sorry, Gwen, I'm so, so sorry. Arthur…' _That Arthur wouldn't be there to see it.

Because that's all it was. An it. Gwen had difficulty thinking of it as anything else, because she couldn't think of it as Arthur's child if Arthur wasn't there to raise it.

The months flew by and Gwen's appetite changed. She had to change into maternity clothes. She found it increasingly harder to move and often she found herself awakening in the middle of the night because the baby had sat on her bladder _again._ Or she'd been kicked. She chuckled humourlessly at the thought of the baby _kicking_ her bladder and of Arthur's reaction. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Gwen had been going through the paperwork that Arthur had hated so much. He'd be signing letters to foreign dignitaries when he'd much rather be training the knights, unable to stand it yet soldier on all the same. She was broken out of her reminiscence by a slight damp feeling. It was with horror and anticipation that she realised her waters were breaking and the baby was coming _now._

The pain and discomfort of a 15-hour labour kept Gwen's mind away from the conflicting thoughts that had tormented Gwen throughout her pregnancy. The fear that the baby wouldn't make it, the fear she wouldn't survive the birth like Arthur's own mother, the fear that she wouldn't be able to think of the child as anything other than Arthur's child. The joy at becoming a mother, the mother of _Arthur's child_.

The hope that she would have something of Arthur to keep with her, to love and cherish for as long as she lived.

The dread that she wouldn't be able to look at the child without seeing Arthur, his face, his smile, _his soft blue eyes, sandy hair, and the ridiculous courage and loyalty that saw him risking his life for his kingdomandthenhewasgoneand-_

A harsh gasp into the cold night air. A wailing. Gwen gasps as Gaius gently brings the wriggling mass of arms and legs wrapped in a towel over to her. She releases her vice-like grip on Merlin's hand. (She pretends not to notice as he does a funny little dance away from her, shaking out his hand and wrist and swearing profusely under his breath). She accepts the tiny bundle, smiling and blinking away the tears as she gazes down at her son, taking in his skin, a blend of hers and Arthur's, even though bright red at the moment, his blond hair, slightly curly, and as he opens his eyes she can see he has Arthur's eyes. And despite all the worries, fears and sleepless nights, somehow, Gwen just knows, that now…

Everything's alright.

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**A/N HI THERE PEOPLE! THANK YOU FOR READING MY FIRST STORY EVER!**

***coughcough*  
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**Okay, now that my silliness is over (slightly), thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed the oneshot. Short and sweet. (Hopefully).  
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**As you could probably guess (see above), first story posted. Criticisms welcome. A beta would be welcomed. Flames will be met with extreme prejudice and intense trolling.  
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**Thanks for reading.  
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**-Click  
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